need another drink. this is the easiest way
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
420 ftw
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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