I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
