we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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