Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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