So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
