you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Bring me that man meat
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
