I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You are a genius and a whore.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
