Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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