Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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