PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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