also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
