I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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