if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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