fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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