so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
