I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
