i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
