Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
