so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
