I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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