oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize