Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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