i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I supernannyed him into submission
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
