careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
