maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
