How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
