speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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