ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I deserve this hangover.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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