They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
