So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
