for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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