I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
