thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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