I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
