All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
