Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
