i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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