I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
