Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
