i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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