$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
