he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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