Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
