people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want to be your penis for a week.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
