So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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