HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
