Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
