do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
