i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
