Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
