I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
