How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
