Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
This girl is more easily done than said...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
