yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
