I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We named our party play list daddy issues
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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