I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
