Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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